Today I am having an "I heart technology" day. It could be because I am still recovering and unable to do much between bouts of nausea and a spinning head, but I have discovered that I can have everything linked between my laptop and mobile phone! Thanks to a nifty little program, I don't even need to have a browser open to update and stay abreast of the various networks and my blog. Can you see the hearts dinking off my head? Now I am going to invest in mobile broadband - unstoppable.. heh.
But, I have finished with all that and I am SO bored.
No, really. There is nothing to do except lay here amongst the sea of crumpled tissues, packets of strepsils, and half filled water bottles, while I let the obdurate thumping take over my poor snot-filled head and I wait patiently for the infections to relinquish their morbid grasp on my respiratory system.
I keep trying to talk to Miss Moo but she is watching The Wild Thornberries movie with her new DS glued to her hand, and she keeps shooting me filthy looks as if I am interrupting or something.
Anyways, to abate my boredom I am going to look at the top 5 headers of my current emails:
1. We need you! Help us choose 2009's Sexiest Woman in the World - umm i'd rather not, I don't find chicks attractive like 'that' and seriously, do I look like I GAF about it right now? Sexy to me is a packet of Panadeine Forte, a steaming heat wheat pillow and full box of tissues.
2. Whales Trucked To Flinders Bay - gosh this is just so sad. 'More than 70 whales and dolphins died on Monday after becoming stranded at Hamelin Bay, south of Margaret River, in WA's South-West'. I don't know why, but I always feel a soul-searing sadness when it comes to whales. Such majestic and intelligent creatures. To me this is a real tradgedy that makes my heart ache.
~~interrupting the email header segment to let you all know I had to change the DVD for moo to Ice Age 2. Upon return to my couch and sea of snotty tissues I spotted a dead frickin GECKO ON THE CARPET which I had to move by arming myself with 99 out of the 100 tissues left in my box, i think my arse flipped out by eating my head - oh my god - WHY ME? That was dEEsgUsting~~
3. Its all about the boobs! - The intellectual activity of the electronic media that is sent to my inbox is astounding, not on a good level. Heaven forbid these writers should try and capture reader interest by exercising a capacity for smarts. This email is actualy adressing the very serious issue of breast cancer, so why not give it the gravity it deserves and use language conducive to piquing the interest of the correct gender rather than descending it to the pits of 'porn mag by-lines'. If you were appealing to a bunch of blokes maybe that header would be appropriate; but if it weren't for my boredom project that would have gone straight to the trash.
4. LIQUOR HOME DELIVERY SPECIALS - Alriiiiiiight, now we are cooking with gas! Show me the OP
5. Blood Flow To Make It Stay, MATE! LOOKE HERE! Make your apparatus BIGGER! Thicker! Firmer! - Well, they totally missed their target market with that one. If I were considering surgery to be a chick with a d!ck then hell yeah! I'd be interested. As a wife/mother of 4 who just wants a decent casserole recipe, they dipped out. I can't imagine myself with a b0ner, I don't think it would be very pretty.
I keep getting flashback of Dead-Gecko-Tail hanging limply from my pile of tissues - I think I am scarred and I can't help but wonder how the poor little sausage died. I hope I in no way contributed to his untimely end, I'd have to lose sleep over that. It was sad - but really, really gross.
Well, I might haul my sorry ass off to the medicine cabinet and abuse some pain killers, at least then I only have the rising nausea to contend with and I can pretend this earache is just a figment on my imagination.
Chia for now and I hope enjoyed the eclectic collection of rambling from the ailing ration - lacking in genius for sure but hey, nobody pays me.
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